I think you did the right thing by removing yourself from the situation when that comment was made. Sometimes that kind of tacit, but clear disapproval speaks more directly than any lecture can. Of course, I wasn’t there and don’t know the details.

Thanks for sharing this moment and how it affected you. We all feel we failed or could have done more when we face our biggest trials—even if we did the right thing.

I found myself paralyzed in the moment, filled with loathing and disgust, but unable to respond in any way that I would consider heroic or brave. Instead, I stood and walked away from the group, and we departed almost immediately. For 2 weeks I replayed the scene in my head, with better and better roles and responses imagined.

It took me almost a month to calm my sense of having failed a test of the heroic person I would like to be and in fact thought I was. I am heartened by your encouragement that this is a journey, and not a steady progression of victories and sacred moments. Thank you.

David

1. It makes a great plot line for a work of fiction, but a poor plan for how to actually live your life.

2. Those comic book heroes usually function like law enforcement. It’s law enforcement’s job to hunt down the bad guys. It’s not, however, the job of traveling spiritual seekers.

The Heroic Life as a philosophy is not a reason to go vigilante.