Category Archives: Martial Arts

Adventurer for Hire: Will You Fight Me

Image by Neil Krug.

When I stayed in Saint Paul I put up a Craigslist ad offering my skills as a professional adventurer.

I didn’t do this for money, just to get answers. The word “adventurer” is really tilted by games, movies and… well, mostly games.

What would real people ask a real adventurer to do?

At first the results were underwhelming: crickets, then spam.

But eventually I did get one (apparently serious) response. It went like this:

If you are truly looking for an adventure and if you claim to teach people “martial arts,” then come meet me in a park west of downtown Minneapolis and fight me. If you win, I will let you stay with me and feed you for a week. If I win I just get the pleasure of beating up a “martial arts instructor.” I’m a big guy and a veteran Marine so you probably won’t do this. No rules, just wear pants and MMA gloves if you want, I won’t need them. Anything goes, we fight until someone taps out or gets knocked out.

—TM

TM was referring to a line in my original ad. Mostly I left the meaning of adventurer ambiguous, but I added: “I’m also happy to tutor individuals or groups in skills such as outdoor survival, martial arts, and travel.” I thought that was a pretty uncontroversial line.

The Response

Unfortunately, I had also specified in my ad that the offer was for “one week only.” By the time TM decided to send me this challenge, I was already back on the road and moving south. As much as I love angry Marines, I don’t bike 100+ miles to see them.

But I didn’t leave him hanging.

What’s the right response to a challenge like this? Any decent martial artist would politely turn it down, and not out of fear: the whole idea is just creepy. Two men fighting (with no rules!) in a public park where children play is neither legal nor advisable.

For a priest, the challenge is an eminently human moment of contact with a man in great pain. I responded honestly:

Hi TM,

I have to admit the offer intrigues me. Unfortunately, as stated in the ad, I was only in the Cities one week…

If I wasn’t moving on, I would make you a counter proposal. The counter proposal would be that we should first spend a night talking over food and drinks and then, if you still want to fight, we could fight the next day. I would be interested to see how a veteran Marine fights. And I’d be even more interested in just talking with the guy who has the guts to make an offer like this.

Maybe we’ll get a chance some day.

Best wishes,
Drew

I believe this honors the spirit of adventure: a sincere interest in his challenge, and a deeper interest in getting to know him and making friends with the bold-hearted.

TM has not replied further.

Was this a good response? Was it the right response for a professional adventurer?


Weapons on the Great Adventure

The Great Adventure creates opportunities for people to hurt me. I know I can be wounded, I just happen to disagree with most people about how worried I should be.

I admit I carry these with me:

Plus I’m the Rogue Priest, so there’s probably at least one trick up my sleeve.

But for some people that’s not enough. Every day I hear: carry a gun. Be ready to defend yourself.

I question whether those two statements really go together.

I approve of self defense. I wish basic self defense was taught in all grade schools. It’d be a better world if pepper spray was given out free in 5th grade, and if high schools had gun safety courses. I own a pistol and I enjoy firing it at targets with my dad and our friends. (It currently resides at his farm, unloaded.)

And, you know, swords are great. Fencing is a holy art.

So using a weapon doesn’t scare me. I wish more people owned them. The sight of a hunting rifle shouldn’t make someone flinch. But guess what: we don’t have to be creepy about it.

And carrying a gun with you is a sure-fire way to be creepy.

I’m a creative person and in 1,300 miles I can’t imagine any scenario where a gun is needed. I can imagine plenty of scenarios where I need to defend myself, but in every single one of them pepper spray will do the trick. If pepper spray or a knife won’t work, a gun wouldn’t either.

So why would I take on the added liability of a firearm?

The same goes for other sorts of weapons. When I left behind my tomahawk I mourned it as a tool. I once outpaced my dad on felling 8″ diameter trees. I got started right away with my tomahawk while he gased up and started his chain saw. I finished my row before he finished his. What an amazing tool.

Chopping firewood, making beams, building shelter, hammering or prying—the ‘hawk is a thing of beauty.

It will also kill a man dead, but I’ve never once thought of it as a weapon. If it was with me it would hang from a backpack, its blade fully covered, awkward to reach and unsheathe in an emergency.

The best tools for self defense are small, light and nonlethal. If you sleep with a gun or a hatchet you are a weirdo: your plan is to kill someone who doesn’t need to be killed, and to scare people who pose no threat at all. On the other hand someone who sleeps with a pepper spray canister is just smart. You’ll never be called psycho for carrying pepper spray on a solo hike. People understand.

And that’s really what my self-defense strategy comes down to: people. Being friendly and sincere is your greatest weapon, more effective than bullets or blades, because it prevents most assaults from ever happening. Being a decent person won’t win a fight but it may mean you never have to fight at all.

The guy who suspects everyone of trying to hurt them is not likable. Neither is the guy who fingers a gun under his pillow at night.

We can smell that shit.

Successful travel depends on transmuting yourself from stranger to friend. Anything you have that retards that process should be removed from your gear and left in a trash can.

What would you carry with you for self defense on an adventure? What do you carry with you everyday?


If You Can Destroy Them…

Today, thanks to a reader’s comment on the Unheroic Rescue, I find myself thinking about power and violence in relationships.

Go deeper


A Call to Arms for All My Rogues

I continue to immerse myself in intensive Jujutsu training. As I train my body, my sense of self becomes clearer.

As a priest, I consider spirituality a noble pursuit. But one of the drawbacks of spirituality is that it’s ephemeral. It is an invisible, internal thing. It can be can be hard to know whether you are having a profound breakthrough, or just comforting yourself, or even imagining things. Like a mist, it’s hard to grab hold.

Go deeper


The Harsh Reality of Becoming a Warrior, Part II

This is the second half of a bigger story. The first part is here. It’s about my training in Jujutsu at Futen Dojo.

Today I’ll answer the question I’ve been teasing you with for a week: when Sensei heard I’m walking to South America, what did he say?

Go deeper


The Harsh Reality of Becoming a Warrior, Part I

Martial arts are the most important thing in my life.

Last week I promised to share what my Sensei said when I told him about the Great Adventure. That story is too much for a single blog post, and it gets into some heavy issues—so I’m breaking it into two parts.

Right now I’m in the first stage of preparation for the Great Adventure: three months training at Futen Dojo in Milwaukee. Futen Dojo is where I first learned what true martial arts are. It’s why they’re now the most important thing I do, but it wasn’t always that way.

Go deeper


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,341 other followers