Heroism, Spotlight

We Need Heroes, Not Men

I was asked to write a piece for Good Men Project about how my spirituality informs my masculinity. I gladly accepted.

One minor issue: gender roles bad.

So what the heck came out of the blender, and why did they decide to run it? Check it out for yourself:

We Need Heroes, Not Men



14 thoughts on “We Need Heroes, Not Men

  1. As usual, I read it with anticipation, I hold on the edges of my chair as if I’m on a roller coaster because I’m not quite sure if you are going to be challenging my beliefs or supporting my challenging beliefs. I’m proud to have read that you are like I am. I, too, notice that more women are willing (at least from what I’ve seen in our country) to stand up and more men just take a back seat. It’s not that guys are giving in, they’re stubborn, but I even hesitate to write that for fear that may sound sexist on my part against men.

    I have been disappointed with men. It’s sometimes too easy to play a hero in a video game yet when it comes to real life, they’re apathetic, mean, stubborn… I could go into personal stories, but I won’t. I’m not sure if we need actual heroes, we just need more SUPPORTIVE men with the emotional endurance, moral strength, and gumption to really be good.

    I have known men to stay home and help with the raising of children. One of my good ol’ friends does just that because he’s the writer in the family and his wife has a career that requires her to be out of the house. Yet I’ve also seen men who stay at home who are cowards, too. Whatever the role, it doesn’t matter. Gender doesn’t matter.

    What you do matters.

    So… besides being supportive, there needs to be action, too. Because me and other generations of women have put up with male relatives who have leaned on us too much to do things they can do on their own — they are grown ass men, right? Ughhhh!

    Sorry. My passion’s are piqued tonight. Thank you.

  2. Another well written post. It helped me articulate my own thoughts on gender and masculinity which is something that has always been in my life, but this post set me thinking again.

    I think masculinity and femininity have both evolved in the modern era, as referenced in your post and the one above mine here. But I am not sure that our expectations of one another have altered – we expect a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman as defined by . . . . . who? What? This could be instinctual and born of deep grooves of neural pathways that have taught us all kinds of things as we have evolved, but may also prevent us evolving further.

    My own masculinity is complex and it is not the point to go into that here, but I did like “It taught me that masculinity is an illusion, one that we tell ourselves when we want to feel in control”.

    I am a man that challenges the stereotype too, in different ways to you I suspect, but still at the end of the day, am a man.

    • That’s awesome Mikhael. Thank you for the compliment, too, but mostly I just enjoyed reading your take on it here. I think you’re spot on.

      Can you share some of the ways you challenge that stereotype? For me, I guess I do enjoy a lot of the traditionally “masculine” pursuits, but some of them are new to me. I grew up never playing organized sports, and I love to garden and cook. These aren’t major things now, especially with my circle of friends, but it did make me stick out as a kid.

  3. Rua Lupa says:

    Posted on the comment board there, so I’ll not repeat anything here. I really enjoyed the post and love the gender mold breaking!

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