Writing

How to Write a Blog

Lately several people asked me how I write such a popular blog. I was nervous about answering. My trade secrets are a proprietary blend of strategy, training and raw gut instinct… like a bear on a motorcycle.

But I love you guys, so I’m sharing those secrets with you today.

How You Write So Good?

There are five things you need to write a good blog. They are:

  1. A laptop that is the same color as your ear buds and your phone. Mine are kind of a zodiac blue. Like Mega Man meets Philip K. Dick. But you have to chose a different color, that one’s mine.
  2. You have to listen to moody, inspiring electronic music with ethereal female vocals. This’s what I always listen to while I write and my blog is taking off pretty good, so it must work. Try seeding your play list with Metric’s Gimme Sympathy, and the bands Kill Hannah, Jes, Goldfrapp, and ATB. Or just eat this playlist.
  3. Maintain unhealthy work habits. Everyone knows the greatest writers of the last two centuries were strung out on opium and acid respectively. But that shit’s expensive! I find that you can be almost as unhealthy just by pushing yourself to stay up writing till 3:30 am. My most popular posts were forged in those hellish fires.
  4. Cuss like an HBO special. It never hurts and it often helpsSee also: the paragraph above.
  5. Dance Breaks! When no one is around, or I think no one is around, I periodically get up and dance around my work area like I’m on some kind of early 2000’s music video. My dancing is not particularly good, but it is enthusiastic, and sometimes I sing about my blog post topic as I dance. Or I just cuss.

If you follow all these tips your blog will soar like a feathered serpent over Mexico.

You thought I was kidding.

The truth is I learned how to write a blog from Chris Guillebeau. I started with his free ebook 279 Days too Overnight Success. It isn’t the only influence on how I started this blog, but the basic ideas he puts forth were my stepping stones as a beginner. I recommended it, and you can get it for free here.

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